ehh… If you know me, you know I overshare. My lovely mailman asked how I was doing yesterday and I told him “terrible” to which my best friend who was visiting promptly pulled me back inside and gave me tea.

I’m feeling emotionally up and down, with real highs and lows. I’m trying to take things day by day. Some days, I even forget—then I remember, and it’s like a rollercoaster of emotions all over again. July and August were incredibly tough. I found out about my diagnosis just days before my dad passed and immediately started ten rounds of radiation on my leg. In September, I had a titanium rod put in my femur, which required a planned five-night hospital stay. October brought its own challenges with a pericardial effusion (fluid around my heart), and in November, I spent seven unplanned days in the hospital—three of which were in the CCU —over Thanksgiving due to complications from that fluid buildup. December was emotional whiplash. It’s been a rough time, juggling emotions, work, a new book, family life, and I’m still processing it all. Yes, I have a wonderful therapist.

That’s the short version. The long version—if you talk to me in person—is honestly unbelievable, exhausting, and frustrating. Things got really scary for a minute.

I’ve become a strong advocate for myself in ways I never imagined—navigating the complexities of doctors, specialists, different hospitals, and insurance has been beyond frustrating. I’m so grateful for everyone who is helping and supporting me. Thank goodness. Honestly, this has turned into a full-time job at times.

Good news… physically, I’m doing much better and feel good! The medications are working—that’s the headline here. My TKI (Tyrosine Kinase Inhibitor), drugs are doing their job! My latest scans came back and the results are great — 80% reduction in areas. I do not have to do chemo or get any more radiation for now. I take a pill. I look the same. It’s incredible. From the outside, you'd never know anything was wrong. I still need my cane sometimes because of the titanium rod in my leg, but I’m doing a lot of physical therapy with my PT sister, and that’s helping tremendously.

I’m staying healthy, and to be honest, I think I’ve been unwell for a while but didn’t connect the dots. I no longer wonder if it’s just menopause, or allergies, or simply part of aging. Ah, no, I’ve had cancer apparently this whole time. The lifesaving pill I’m on does have side effects, but they’re tolerable. In fact, I’ve been feeling more energetic, which has made me more excited to enjoy life, do more, and be present.

There are still days when I feel like I’m in a movie and none of this is real. We’re all working together as a family to come to terms with this. I don’t mind talking about it, so please feel free to ask me anything if you care to. And if you’re wondering how to help, I’m working on that too. Maybe there’s something you can do I haven’t thought of yet, or someone you know that could help in some way.

If I don’t respond to you right away, it’s not a reflection of my gratitude; it’s just a bit of self-preservation some days to keep me mentally focused on my health and my family. I really appreciate any and all support. It truly means so much to me.

Right now, you have access to this page, and I only ask that if you share with one of our friends that I not told yet, please make sure you direct them to this website. At some point, I’ll probably have to post on social media if I’m going to fundraise for this vaccine. And for that, I need to be organized, and I’m not yet. It’s taken me and my family months—talking to doctors, specialists, ALK support groups, nurses, friends —and traveling up and down I-95 to wrap my heads around this. I’ve learned a lot, but I need to be ready.

Imagine being told you have an incurable disease that will cut your life short, and then meeting a specialist you trust who has a new vaccine that could help you live longer. That’s what’s happening to me. So, I’m going to focus all my efforts on making sure the world sees this vaccine or whatever else Dr. Lam is working on, as soon as possible.

It’s a lot to process, but I truly appreciate you taking the time to read all of this. Overall, I’m feeling so much better than I was, and for now, I’m holding onto hope, knowing there are brilliant scientists—and even AI—working on cures. Most importantly, my TKI pill is working. My leg is healing, and I’m starting to walk more and more each day. I have more energy. As you know, I’m an author, and my co-author, Emily, and I are hard at work on our next book, as well as promoting it. I’m looking forward to traveling more with the family, creating lasting memories, doing more socially, saying yes to more things, and just enjoying life as much as I can right now.

This has become a bit of a full-time job for me and some of my family, and it’s all really sad. But as I slowly process it all, (there’s been a lot of journaling) and appreciate any silver linings from this experience, I remember how low I was this summer when I was first diagnosed, and then think about where I am now.

Thank you for checking in on my family and me.

Read my Substack (blog) that I’ll keep updated on what’s happening with me, if you’d like to follow, click here or on the button.